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i'm caught in a fix. completely helpless. it seems like everything i do would inevitably result in a negative. to care would be an awfully grave mistake and yet, not to care an even larger one. is there an in-between? if only it was so easy to semi-care. if only i could be like you. i've lost myself. i've become the unimaginable. maybe it really is 'all my fault', to think that change was possible. to think that it was everlasting. so easy to put into words yet practically impossible to put into action. i it's absolutely marvellous how something so minute could escalate into something completely uncalled for. words summoned by Rage leave scars as a reminder that it would never quite be over. that for every good, an ugly awaits us. a vicious wheel that spins uncontrollably. could somebody stop it? i've said it before and i'll say it again: i don't want to be here anymore. im in a dilemma at 2:09 PM
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