a strange phase. i can't explain it, can't understand it. more importantly, i didn't see it coming. ever. its origin remains a mystery. however, there is that one aspect that i'm quite certain of - i don't want to be here anymore. i don't like these emotions. i don't like this behaviour and worst of all, i despise making the same mistake twice.
leave? if only the answer was as simple as that. if only all lives' problems could easily be solved by running away. truth be told, it can't. a part of me regrets hanging on for a whole year yet another part is glad that i did. i fear regret. i want to make a decision without the least bit of doubt. no what ifs. no should haves. no going back on my word.
my question would be, how do you know when to give up and when to hold on? have i cast a blind eye to all the subtle hints and forced myself to live in oblivion? or do i just have an overactive imagination. so many ways to go about this. so many perspectives to view.
day in and day out, i wait for that flashing arrow that points me in the right direction but it never comes.
the heart's heavy. the mind's cluttered. there's no space for reasoning. would somebody solve this for me? i'm tired. i'll give you the scenario and the end product, you pave the way for me. i'm incapable of making the right decision but then again, there is no right or wrong. it's just a decision, a conclusion. period. take me away from here. erase all memory, please?
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me
im in a dilemma at 3:16 PM