im in a dilemma at 7:13 PM
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been talking to fan lately about people's history and i've realised that we're almost the same in that area. we both can not "don't mind the past" (from fan's blog). somehow i just can't tell myself "leave the past behind. what has happened has happened". maybe for awhile i'll be able to convince myself on that but it's just a matter of time before it all comes back to haunt me. i know i'm just bringing it upon myself by thinking about it but i just can't help it. sometimes it even comes to a point where i can just lie in bed for hours just thinking about someone's past and imagining what had happened until i fall asleep depressed. what makes it even worse is the fact that there's nothing i can do about it but accept it, as difficult as it is. reassurance would help a great deal but what i really need is for you to say that it never ever happened, that you never felt the way you did and that you never did the things that you did. ha! who am i kidding? that's like asking for a unicorn for christmas. it's never gonna happen.
im in a dilemma at 7:13 PM
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