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my mood swings have gotten a lot worse now. i swear, it's like a freaking emotional rollercoaster. one minute i can be all "happy happy joy joy" and next i'm like "get out of my face"...which brings me to my sincere apology to yunfan. FAN FAN!!! i'm so sorry about friday!! i really didn't mean to hurt you. it was completely unintentional. forgive me? i really don't know what's wrong with me this year. i seem to have lost my "don't worry, be happy" attitude. i'm upset almost every other day and i just can't control it. maybe it's the fact that my grades are utterly horendous or that my love life is heading to the shits or that my bestfriend's leaving me in exactly 17 days. i think it's a combination of all 3. everything's fucking up before my very eyes and i don't even have the strength to make right what i can. march hols are in a week. thank god. i really need the much deserved break to sort myself out and start the new term afresh. i can't keep going on like this for the rest of the year. it'll just kill me. literally...my worst enemy? the thoughts in my head. *we, we who were, we are the same no longer* So long ago, I don't remember when That's when they said I lost my only friend Well, they said she died easy of a broken heart disease As I listened through the cemetery trees I've seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn With the long broken arm of human law Now, it always seemed such a waste She always had a pretty face I wonder why she hung around this place Come on try a little Nothing is forever There's got to be something better than In the middle But me and Cinderella We put it all together We can drive it home With one headlight She said it's cold It feels like Independence Day And I can't break away from this parade But there's got to be an opening Somewhere here in front of me Through this maze of ugliness and greed And I've seen the sun up ahead At the county line bridge Sayin' all is good and nothingness is dead We'll run until she's out of breath She ran until there's nothin' left She hit the end, it's just her window ledge Well, this place is old It feels just like a beat up truck I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn Well, it smells of cheap wine and cigarettes This place is always such a mess Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams I think your death, it must be killin' me... im in a dilemma at 10:00 AM
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