went for tim's 21st party last night at pasir ris costa sands and boy was it akward. not only was it filled with half a million army boys but his family was there too. so i finally got to meet the mum. she's so cute. haha. well after having a highly akward moment during the cutting of the cake cuz some ppl still thought i was tim's girlfriend, i walked to the beach with shireen extremely depressed. i mean seriously, i've got a boyfriend who's like never there and i'm at my ex-boyfriend's party where ppl still think we're together. it's just too much for me. i talked a bit to shireen and then she disappeared with vicky. despite tim having to run up and down manning the chalet, he sat at the beach with me talking for like 4 hours. we talked about everything under the sun(moon) but mainly revolving around relationships. i hate to say this but i've felt more comfort and stability within those 4 hours than i've felt in the past 3 months.
i dunno but as of late, i've been feeling more alone than ever. i know exactly what it is and i really wish you would be a little less self-centred. you've got a good heart. i know you do, if not i wouldn't be with you right now but you just really gotta stop neglecting me and suddenly appear once every few days to tell me you care. i'm sorry but words just don't cut it.
anyway, back to my moment on the beach. the feeling was just amazing with the breeze drying my tears away as i thought back to what i had before and what i have now. a classic case of "you don't know what you've got till you've lost it". at about 3am, having had enough thoughts running through my mind to last me a lifetime, i got a cab home. sitting on the beach last night reminded me of that time in sentosa. it was almost exactly the same. ok this is all too overwhelming for me. i've got exams starting tmr and my mind is filled with all these thoughts that have nothing to do GP, math, econs, history or lit. ok i'm outta here.
You think I'd leave your side baby ?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when your down on your knees ?
I wouldn't do that
I'll do you right when your wrong
If only you could see into me
Oh, when your cold
I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When your on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, your so much better than you know
When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling
I'll bring you home
If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
and in no time you'll be fine
im in a dilemma at 12:00 PM