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oh my god. here i go again. i can't believe i'm doing this again. i can't believe i'm fucking doing this again! it's like an award-winning renactment of what happened 4 months ago. same shit, different people. you know i just don't get it. it's not like i don't know what the consequences are. i do know it but yet, i still continue to choose to do it thinking i can handle the after-effects when the truth is, i can't. i just simply can't. without my own knowing, it changes everything in me, my feelings, my behaviour, my perceptions, everything and then i get this whole diffidence thing going on thus leading me to becoming an emotional wreck. i guess curiosity really did kill the cat. maybe everyone's right, what you don't know really can't hurt you. i don't see why i can't just let things be and just leave the past in the past. i mean apparently, bringing history to the present serves no purpose so why do it? it's just a bloody waste of time and mental power. sigh. i really gotta stop thinking too much and assuming that the past is at hand cuz it's not. god tanya, it's called fucking moving on! In my dreams I'm dying all the time, Then I wake its kaleidoscopic mind. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lie. So this is goodbye, This is goodbye. Tell the truth, You've never wanted me Tell me... In my dreams I'm jealous all the time, When I wake I'm going out of my mind. Going out of my mind... im in a dilemma at 10:31 PM
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