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oh no. the feelings are coming back. this can't be good. someone stop it before it gets out of hand. i have to stop doing this to myself. i instigate the whole thing and then i sit and suffer. this is ridiculous. what am i doing to myself? why do i keep taking the knife and stabbing myself over and over again? why do i keep reopening the wounds when they're just about to heal? i just keep asking for it. this has got to stop. now. for my own good and the good of others. when the inside is ugly, the outside doesn't matter anymore. im in a dilemma at 3:08 PM
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